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- SPECIAL ISSUE: MILLENNIUM -- BEYOND THE YEAR 2000 THE CENTURY AHEAD, Page 42The Nuclear Family Goes Boom!
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- Loosely knit clans will become the norm as single parents,
- confused kids and more oldsters compete for love and support
-
- BY CLAUDIA WALLIS - With reporting by Ann Blackman/Washington,
- Ellis E. Conklin/Seattle and Janice M. Horowitz/New York
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- When cartoon-show creators William Hanna and Joseph
- Barbera strained their imaginations (ever so slightly) to
- picture the family of the future, it was a pretty simple
- exercise. Take your basic nuclear family: the modern,
- shop-happy housewife, the corporate-drone dad, two rambunctious
- kids and a dog; house them in a spacy-looking split-level; power
- their car with atomic energy; equip their home with a robot
- maid; and, whammo, you had it -- a space-age Cleaver family
- named The Jetsons.
-
- In an age of working mothers, single parents and gay
- matrimony, George Jetson and his clan already seem quaint even
- to the baby boomers who grew up with them. The very term
- nuclear family gives off a musty smell. The family of the 21st
- century may have a robot maid, but the chances are good that it
- will also be interracial or bisexual, divided by divorce,
- multiplied by remarriage, expanded by new birth technologies --
- or perhaps all of the above. Single parents and working moms
- will become increasingly the norm, as will out-of-wedlock
- babies, though there will surely be a more modern term for them.
- "The concept of the illegitimate child will vanish because the
- concept of the patriarchal nuclear family will vanish," says
- Leslie Wolfe, executive director of the Center for Women Policy
- Studies.
-
- The clock cannot be turned back, despite the current
- political exploitation of old-fashioned family values. "The
- isolated nuclear family of the 1950s was a small blip on the
- radar," says Wolfe. "We've been looking at it as normal, but in
- fact it was a fascinating anomaly." While a strict
- reinforcement of traditional family roles is already under way
- in parts of the Muslim world and a backlash against feminism has
- occurred in the West, such counterrevolutions are likely to
- fail. "The fact of change is the one constant throughout the
- history of the family," says Maris Vinovskis, a professor at the
- University of Michigan. "The family is the most flexible,
- adaptive institution. It is constantly evolving."
-
- The rise of divorce in the late 20th century will be a
- primary influence on the family in the century to come. Divorce
- rates have recently stabilized, but they have done so at such a
- high level -- 50% of marriages will end in court -- that
- splitting up will be considered a natural thing. One reason the
- rate of divorce will remain high is that people will live
- longer. At the last turn of the century, at least one partner in
- a couple usually died before age 50, so husbands and wives were
- preoccupied with child rearing for nearly the entire length of
- their union. Now and in the future, "you may find yourself empty
- nesting at age 45, with 40 years of life to go," observes Ken
- Dychtwald, a San Francisco consultant specializing in the impact
- of longevity. As a result, he says, "it will become more normal
- to have several marriages. Divorce will not be seen as a failure
- but as a normal occurrence at various stages of life." Marriage
- contracts might be revised to include sunset clauses that would
- enable aging couples to escape an until-death-do-us-part
- commitment.
-
- Dychtwald cites the late anthropologist Margaret Mead as a
- pioneer of the kind of serial monogamy that may become popular
- in the next century. Mead liked to say that she was married
- three times, all successfully. Mead's husbands suited her needs
- at different points in her long and varied life. Her first
- partner, whom she called her "student-husband," provided a
- conventional and comfortable marriage. As her career
- progressed, however, she sought a traveling partner who was
- interested in her fieldwork. Finally, she found a romantic and
- intellectual soul mate.
-
- It will still be possible for a husband and wife to endure
- together the vicissitudes of many decades, but Dychtwald
- believes such couples will be rare. Once society has lost most
- of its taboos against divorce, it will take unusual commitment,
- flexibility and loyalty (perhaps fortified by a religious vow)
- to stick it out. Couples who endure to celebrate their golden
- anniversaries "will have mastered marriage," says Dychtwald.
- "It will be like mastering the violin or the cello."
-
- The nonvirtuosos will spend significant stretches of their
- adulthood rediscovering the single life. Current trends suggest
- that this will be particularly true of women, both because they
- live longer than men and because they are less likely to
- remarry. Women will adapt by developing new types of
- relationships: dating younger men, seeing more males in
- platonic friendships and living together in groups with other
- women, not unlike the Golden Girls model. Computer and
- videophone dating services will help with matchmaking far more
- than they do today.
-
- Serial monogamy will make family structures a great deal
- more complicated. The accretion of step-relatives and former
- in-laws will be legally messy and increasingly bewildering to
- children, who will have to divide their loyalties and love
- among stepmothers, birth mothers, biological fathers and
- ex-stepparents. An entire new body of case law will unfold as
- courts try to settle complex custody disputes and determine
- where a child's best interest may lie in a forest of hyphenated
- relatives.
-
- The growth of the extended family does not mean that huge
- clans will gather under one roof. "They'll want intimacy at a
- distance," says Andrew Cherlin, a sociology professor at Johns
- Hopkins University. The extended family will be more of a
- network of crisscrossing loyalties and obligations. As
- life-spans lengthen and marriages multiply, middle-aged couples
- could find themselves crushed by the responsibilities of caring
- all at once for aging parents, frail grandparents, children
- still completing their education and perhaps even a
- stepgrandchild or two. In short, the "sandwich generation,"
- already feeling so much pressure in the 1990s, could give way to
- a multilayered club sandwich.
-
- As family relationships grow more complex, role confusion
- is bound to become epidemic. More battles will be fought over
- household turf, inheritance and rivalries for affection. Even
- incest, long considered an absolute taboo, will become a more
- complicated issue because the fracturing of families will make
- it harder to define. If nonrelatives within a family have sex,
- is that incest or something else?
-
- Many of the biggest changes in the next century, at least
- in the developed world, will be driven by the demographic tilt
- away from children and toward the elderly. A snapshot of a
- family gathering in 2050 will show lots of gray hair and not
- too many diapers. Even now, for the first time in history, the
- average American has more parents living than children. People
- age 65 and older, who constitute 11.3% of the U.S. population in
- 1980, will make up 22% of the country by 2050. Moreover, in the
- next three decades the number of Americans age 85 and older is
- expected to increase fivefold, to 15 million.
-
- That growth will spur a boom in the development of
- retirement communities. Those catering to the affluent will be
- highly sought after by regional civic boosters. "I can envision
- countries competing for these luxury communities in the same
- way they used to compete for auto plants, because they are such
- wealth engines," says William Johnston, a fellow at the Hudson
- Institute. A new, economical form of elderly residence called
- "assisted housing" is likely to be popular as well. In these
- complexes, the elderly are supervised but allowed to live
- alone. "It's not like a nursing home," says Karen Wilson, whose
- company, Concepts Community Living, operates two such
- residences in Oregon. "These are places where older people can
- live independently and where their family can come and do their
- laundry, bathe them and even stay with them."
-
- Some people in America will be unable, either emotionally
- or financially, to meet their family obligations. "We cannot be
- hopeful about their ability to preserve or create any kind of
- family structure, unless we step in to change their
- circumstances," says Margaret Mark, director of the Young &
- Rubicam Education Group. The worst victims may be children.
- "You may see kids trying to survive on the street," says Edward
- Cornish, president of the World Future Society in Bethesda,
- Maryland. "Think of Dickens' London. Worse, think of Brazil,
- where there are armies of children with no place to go."
-
- New technology and social institutions will have to emerge
- to help the fractured families of the future. Some forecasters,
- like Mark, predict that in poorer neighborhoods, schools will
- become 24-hour family-support systems offering child care, quiet
- study places, a sanctuary for abused or neglected youngsters,
- even a place to sleep for those who need one. At the same time,
- government computers will be far more efficient about tracking
- the legal obligations of citizens. Parents who fail to meet
- child-support payments will find it hard to hide.
-
- As corporations become more dependent on women workers and
- staffed by female executives at high levels, policies will
- become more accommodating toward families. Video-conferencing
- and other improvements in communications technology will make it
- easier for work to be done remotely from home, though it remains
- to be seen whether this would be truly a boon for family life.
- While work will be less tied to the office, it will also be more
- international and therefore more round-the-clock. Making a clear
- separation between work life and home life may actually become
- more difficult.
-
- With women constituting nearly half the work force, the
- remaining vestiges of gender inequality will gradually
- disappear, according to most forecasters. Slowly but
- inexorably, as women continue to move into fields once dominated
- by men, the gap between male and female wages will close. As it
- does, power balances will shift not only at the office but also
- in the kitchen. When both sexes have equivalent jobs and
- equivalent paychecks, it won't always be the woman who works
- "the second shift" of housework after hours or who stays home
- when a child is sick. Nor, for that matter, will it generally
- be the woman who receives child custody in a divorce.
-
- To help families cope with ever more intricate obligations,
- the government should allow large, extended families to
- incorporate themselves as businesses, suggests David Pearce
- Snyder, a consulting futurist. This would make families more
- productive and independent by giving them huge tax advantages
- that corporations enjoy: generous write-offs for helping each
- other with new business ventures, tuition funds and the ability
- to transfer wealth among members without being taxed. Such
- families would then be much better equipped to look after all
- their members, relieving the government and other institutions
- of that burden.
-
- On the other hand, an even more radical approach may
- evolve. It is reasonable to ask whether there will be a family
- at all. Given the propensity for divorce, the growing number of
- adults who choose to remain single, the declining popularity of
- having children and the evaporation of the time families spend
- together, another way may eventually evolve. It may be quicker
- and more efficient to dispense with family-based reproduction.
- Society could then produce its future generations in
- institutions that might resemble the state-sponsored baby
- hatcheries in Aldous Huxley's Brave New World. People of any
- age or marital status could submit their genetic material, pay
- a fee, perhaps apply for a permit and then produce offspring.
- "Embryos could be brought to fetal and infant stage all in the
- laboratory, outside the womb," says Cornish. "Once ready, the
- children could be fed by nurses or even automated machinery."
-
- In any event, as the nuclear family dissolves, what is
- likely to evolve is a sort of make-your-own-family approach,
- which Dychtwald calls "the family of choice." Institutions,
- employers, neighbors and friends will take on roles once
- dominated by relatives. "The need and craving for family has
- not diminished," he says. "It's just that people are forming
- their own little tribes based on choice and affinity and not on
- blood." These new pseudo-relatives could overcome the one
- immutable truth about families: you can't pick your parents.
- Someday, maybe, you will be able to.
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